How do you mend a broken heart? In the pit of disparity it can feel like there is no escape from the pain.
Brokenheartedness can come in waves. Sometimes it is the loss of a job or other financial hardship where you are starting to wonder what it’s really like to live on the streets in the city.
Other times it is the death of a loved one and you are left wondering if you will ever be able to live without that person. No matter what caused the brokenheartedness, it is valid.
God created us to have feelings and to react sensitively to the events in life–it’s what makes us human.
As beings created in God’s image, it can only be believed that He knows and understands these feelings as well.
He desires to help His children through these dark times:
Grieve, mourn and wail. Change your laughter to mourning and your joy to gloom. Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.
You have heard it said a thousand times, but God doesn’t want us to be conformed to the world.
The pain and suffering we experience comes from worldly suffering. That doesn’t make it hurt less, but that means we need to be strong in our faith and hold on to the truth:
God gives only peace and love, but it is up to us to accept it.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
So if God doesn’t want us to have a broken heart and He commands us to “not be afraid”, then what do you do about it?
Thankfully, there is hope–and steps to take to find healing and empowerment in even the darkest times.
How long does it take to heal a broken heart?
When it comes to healing a broken heart, one of the most common clichès is, “time heals all wounds.”
The truth is, there really is no time limit on how long pain will last.
What is certain is that dwelling on the pain and inviting the hurt is an unconscious thing we as humans do, which makes the healing process last longer.
Healing from losing a loved one can seem like you have to forget them in order to move on.
Healing from hurtful words or relationships also puts a strain on the ability to trust again.
The amount of time it takes to heal will vary based on the situation, and in many cases there will always be pain in some memories.
These are just stepping stones on the path that creates your unique story and are opportunities to grow your faith.
“Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance.”
What does the Bible say about a broken heart?
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
The Bible says “fear not” over 100 times, depending on which translation you are using.
The implications behind these commands are not referring only to being scared. Think about “fear not” as stress, anxiety, uneasiness, and, you guessed it, brokenheartedness.
God’s desire is for you to find peace in Him. It is His desire to take your burdens and ease your suffering.
“Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
Different Ways Our Hearts Can Be Broken
A broken heart doesn’t just come from a breakup; any feeling of loss and hurt can be attributed to that emotion.
Failed Relationships
Breakups and divorce are obviously in this category, but so are relationships with parents, siblings, other family members, and friends.
There comes a time when you simply have to cut off toxic people for your own well-being, and dealing with the loss of that relationship can cause heart break.
Loss of Job, Business Venture, or Ministry
Sometimes God closes doors we were not ready to have closed.
It might have felt like the work you were doing was for His Kingdom, so why would He let it end?
It is hard to accept, but there is probably a more fitting opportunity around the corner. When that door opens you will look back and understand.
Not all closed doors are a bad thing.
Struggling Financially
It doesn’t matter what the circumstances are, money matters are a difficult topic because our society frowns upon being open and candid about money.
It can feel so lonely to have to say no to things you want to do while you are in the process of saving.
It hurts to say “I can’t afford that” because you are worried about what others might think.
There are way too many people silently suffering through financial struggles because of shame.
Dealing With a Sick Child
It hurts when they are little, and that worry never goes away.
Some mom’s even admit to checking their baby’s pulse at night, just in case.
As a parent, we tend to feel so helpless when our children are hurt or sick. That’s a heavy burden that can break our hearts.
Death Of a Loved One
Loss of a loved one leaves a hole behind. It seems for a long, long time like the hole will never be filled.
There are so many times people will offer well-intentioned words like “they’re in a better place” or, “at least they aren’t suffering”, but those dismissive phrases cannot take away the realness of your pain and truth of the emptiness.
You probably know exactly which of these scenarios you identify with.
Or perhaps l, you have a combination of hearing break scenarios bringing you down.
Let’s take a look at some possible stages of heartbreak to find out what to do next.
What Are The Healing Stages of Heartbreak?
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”
A broken heart is still broken and awaiting a chance to heal, no matter what the cause.
The stages are the same as the stages of grief. We all go through grief in our own way, and it might be worthwhile to speak with a grief counselor.
The stages are:
● Shock
● Denial
● Anger
● Bargaining
● Depression
● Acceptance
● Processing
Think about how these different stages might look in your life.
You might have even noticed denial and anger as a cover for the pain of sadness.
Once you have identified where you are in this process, you can take steps towards healing.
Steps to Spiritual Healing for a Broken Heart:
“Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.”
● Acknowledge and Accept Your Feelings. The first step to healing is being honest with yourself and calling it like it is.
● Explore Healthy Ways to Process Your Pain. Turn to healthy ways to cope like going for walks, meditating, or trying a new skill.
● Create a Positive Support System. Evaluate who you have available, and if you aren’t able to call a friend or a family member, reach out to a local church. Many have group counseling available for grief and relationships.
● Forgive Yourself and Others; Then Let Go of Blame and Guilt. No matter who was at fault, forgive. No matter how big or small the hurt, forgive.
● Make Self-Care a Priority. Shower, change your clothes, put on deodorant. Take care of yourself. The more you do, the more you lift yourself out of sadness.
● Focus on growing from the experience. Make a list of all the things you learned. Write it down in a notebook and add to it as you go.
● Take time for the things you love to do. God created you with interests, talents, and skills. Don’t deny yourself doing things you like to do, make time for them.
“‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death’ or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.””
Moving Forward
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Decide today to begin the healing process. It can be scary to take those first steps.
After a while, heartbreak can even become normal and comfortable.
It takes the choice and the desire to get better in order to move forward and find healing.
Take a moment and pray for strength and guidance and you head out on this journey to heal your broken heart.
God is ready to ease your troubles and heal your soul.
I wear many hats; Wife, Mom, Minister, Blogger and Entrepreneur.
It’s not easy juggling everything but with the Grace of God, I can do all things!
My plate is full but my cup runneth over!!
How many people get their heart broken. This is an interesting and good way to healing. Thank you for sharing!