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Understanding Church Hurt: A Path to Healing and Forgiveness

Church hurt can leave a lasting impact, but there is a path to healing. It’s a journey that challenges us to redefine our expectations, embrace forgiveness, and shift our perspective. 

As we experience pain and trauma, finding peace and true healing may seem impossible; but what if I tell you there is a way to move forward!

We can let go of resentment and bitterness by adjusting our focus on the one that truly matters by taking captive our thoughts and renewing our minds. 

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A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.

Proverbs 17:22

Recognizing False Expectations

As we begin the path to healing from church hurt, it’s crucial to recognize the false expectations we may have set for ourselves. 

Too often we place unrealistic hopes on our churches and their leaders, expecting them to be perfect and flawless. 

We probably think that there will be no conflicts or disagreements. We picture a perfect paradise where everyone is happy and healthy. 

However, the reality is that churches are made up of imperfect individuals, just like us, who are bound to make mistakes and fall short.

By putting these unrealistically high expectations, we set ourselves up for disappointment and hurt. 

When our churches inevitably disappoint us, it can be devastating, causing us to question our faith, holding resentment and bitterness towards others that need Jesus just as much as we do. 

Recognizing and acknowledging these false expectations is the first step towards healing and letting go of the hurt. 

It’s time to reassess our perspective and recognize what a church should be. Embracing the beauty of imperfection and growth. 

We are all a work in progress including our leaders

We as the church need to renew our mindset and see that we must learn, grow and support one another through the ups and downs of life. 

We must shift our focus from seeking fulfillment from the confines of a “church” and develop a personal relationship with God.  

It’s through this relationship that we will find empathy and understanding for one another. 

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Photo by Liza Summer on

Understanding the Power of Forgiveness

Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Ephesians 4:32

Understanding the power of forgiveness is a crucial part of the healing process from church hurt. 

When we have been deeply wounded by the actions or attitudes of others within our congregation, it can be easy to hold onto anger and resentment.

Forgiveness allows us to free ourselves from our grievances. 

It is not about condoning or forgetting the hurt but rather choosing to be like Jesus. 

Forgiveness is not only beneficial for ourselves, but it also has the power to transform relationships and all those around us. 

When we choose forgiveness, we break the cycle of vengeance and retaliation, and instead, create an environment of grace and reconciliation. 

This shift in perspective can lead to restoration and unity within our churches. 

Keeping Our Focus On Jesus

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit.

Romans 8:5 

Keeping our focus on Jesus is crucial in our journey of healing from church hurt. 

By redirecting our attention and keeping our focus on Jesus, we can find peace, guidance, and strength to go through the healing process.

Jesus serves as the ultimate example of forgiveness and compassion. 

When He walked this earth, He faced rejection, betrayal, and even crucifixion. 

Yet, He responded with love and forgiveness, even for those who harmed Him the most. 

It is natural to feel angry or betrayed when we experience church hurt, but dwelling on these negative emotions only intensifies the pain. 

Instead, by fixing our eyes on Jesus, we are reminded of the importance of forgiveness and the power it holds. 

Learning How To Be Kingdom Minded

Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.

Colossians 3:2

In times of confusion or doubt, we can turn to God for wisdom and discernment. 

He has promised to never leave us nor forsake us, and through prayer and seeking His presence, we can find the strength and clarity we need to go through the challenges of healing from church hurt.

By keeping our eyes fixed on Him, we can begin to see beyond our own hurt and embrace a broader perspective that includes all those around us. 

When we shift our focus from our personal hurt to the larger picture of the kingdom, we begin to understand that healing is not just about our own well-being, but also about the restoration and unity of the entire church.

A kingdom-minded approach also means seeking unity and reconciliation within the body of Christ. 

Instead of harboring resentment and bitterness towards those who have hurt us, we are called to extend forgiveness and grace. 

This doesn’t mean that we should ignore or downplay the pain we have experienced, but it means choosing to let go of the anger and resentment that can hinder our growth. 

Instead of becoming disengaged or cynical, we can choose to put our energy into positive contributions. 

It’s about actively participating in the restoration and growth of the body of Christ. 

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Healing from church hurt is a complex but by staying focused on Jesus, seeking His guidance, and being kingdom minded, we can navigate the challenges and find the healing and transformation we seek. 

Embracing a kingdom-minded perspective allows us to see beyond our own hurt and actively participate in the restoration and unity of the church. 

Letting go of resentment and finding true healing in unexpected places is the key to reclaiming our faith and moving forward. 

I wear many hats; Wife, Mom, Minister, Blogger and Entrepreneur.

It’s not easy juggling everything but with the Grace of God, I can do all things!

My plate is full but my cup runneth over!!

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